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Primal Weetbix

It has not been my pleasure to introduce
Millions and millions of idiots to a soup
Soup that one has been in
Before you, I, or Carl Sagan spoke

Primal Weetbix
Nice soup, soup stuff yeah
Organic, promising
Stuff of the stars

On the first day: Planck time
Gravity found its own pad
Hence the billionth year
And on the seventh day, God was gay
And lives on as a legend in his own mind

Primal Weetbix
Nice soup, soup stuff yeah
Organic, promising
Stuff of the stars

Why don't you teach me
The stuff of the stars?


Fruitshops & Traintracks

Where are you going?
Can I fit in your suitcase and spend some time?

Because I don't weigh much
I want to wake up in another place
There's a world outside
I'm sure It's there
Yeah there's a world outside full of people
And laughter

We're going nowhere
And you're coming too
We're searching for something that doesn't exist
Where are we staying?
Did you make reservations for the weekend?
Or did you fuck it up?

`Cause there's a world outside
I'm sure it's there
Yeah, there's a world outside
Full of fruitshops and traintracks
Oceans and mountains
Spaceships and eagles

Fruitshops and traintracks
Oceans and mountains
Go-carts and scrubbers
Hikers and headbands
Dickheads and Rainbows
Poets and fuckwits
Beef and blackbean sauce


King of the Pigeons

This sunny morning
Was like no other morning
Because today
I saw the king of the pigeons
Flying away

From that moment on
My fate was sealed
To walk the earth
Associating only with freaks

A flying dalmation
Bigger than the rest of those
Docile, gobbling, shit machines

You are now crazy
For what they have done to you
Those dark grey, lice-ridden air-borne scum
And that's fair to be fair to the
King of the pigeons
The king, he's changed your life
In so many ways &
You've got to be thankful!

So, if you ever lay your eyes on the
King of the pigeons, and are dazzled
By its dalmation-like plumage
Well my friend, your life will never be the same again

I've got a lot of love to give to you
Eleven bits of love to give
Ball bearings in the head
I've got them to give to you
I've got a lot of love to give to all of you people


Genetic Love

Genetic Love
Just a player in the game
Can I swim in it? Can I swim?
Swim in your gene pool?

Your genes fit me
Like a polyester tuxedo
I like to watch
Double-helix code
I love you, and nature likes
The functioning stuff
Find me out, find me out
G C T T A C
G C T T

Sometimes I feel you Asian
Surely I'm caucasian
Tells me in my code I
Preference this version

Genetic Love
Genetic Love

Find me out, find me out
You and me, DNA
Find me out, find me out
Buy the album, buy me out


Mystery Chapters

Oh yeah I do yeah
Mikey, Mr Levis
12pm, Shaz, Shazza
Life, ha life
Chocolate, yoghurt
What about the smell factor?
The smelly guy
Yeah, you should come down
He grows great hemp on that show
Hey man uh hey!
I must be strong...


STEREOTYPER
(a Magic Lunchbox musical in two acts)

ACT I:

Bean and Rob, two unemployed workers, sit at a table discussing the situation of the world.

Rob: All Germans wear suspenders. And holding a mug of beer, slap their knees laughing.

Bean: (With a look of contemplation) All Italians eat pizza everyday and are fat.

(Enter two friends, Ernie-the hero of the story, and Danny)

Ernie & Danny: (together) All french blow up ships and eat frogs, then blow up ships then eat more frogs.

(Ernie turns to his left and comforts Rob)

Ernie & Rob: (together) All Greeks have bad breath.

Bean: All Irish are dumb and cannot grasp simple concepts.

Danny: All Russians wear rabbits on their heads and speak in a language I cannot understand.

Ernie: All Kiwis are duckheeds.

(Bean And Ernie leave the table and move stage right)

Bean: All Aussies are boofheads, aren't you Darren?

(Darren enters)

Darren: Fucken' oath

(lights fade)

 

ACT II:

All characters except Darren are centre stage. Darrens screams in desperation.

Tutti: Cultural sensitivity, that's the way it should be. But southern Europeans.... they're all Greek to me. Stereotyper, Stereotype.

(Spotlight focuses on the hero, Ernie, who steps forward)

Ernie: Cultural sensItivity, that's the way it should be. But southern Europeans.... they're all Greek to me.

(Lights fade and curtains close)


P.L.M.C.

We are the Party for the Liberation of Madcunts
The single issue party
Without political mandate

We won't save the trees
We won't save the bears
We'll just help out the freaks
Like you and me

Don't talk to me about
your Christian shooters dude,
Liberate the streakers and mooners.

The rockie with the plastic shooter
Who made Prince Charlie poo his doona
Or the chick who rides a scooter
And shows her hooters

Political mandate
There's not but one for madcunts
Political mandate
There's not but one for madcunts


Rootaside
(Saturday Night put a)

There's a girl I know
A girl I'm gonna meet
We're gonna go out on a picnic
And pull out the sheet
And sit down in the park
And play games in the dark
Put a rootaside
Put a rootaside on Saturday night

There's a girl I know
A girl I met last week
She was frettin' in the rain
But still she looked sweet
She said Gary don't you touch me
In that way that you touched me last week

Saturday night put a rootaside


Four-Track Mind

Livin' on the street
Movin' to the beat
I'm a stranger in my own mind
Jesus! There goes the neighbourhood!

One of these kids is doing his own thing
Used to be my brother but now he's such a mother
Sit down, don't get down, talk down, Motown
Jimmy likes James Brown
Hey Willis watcha talkin' `bout?
You and me and us and him And we
All go together like I love my brother......
........It's such a shame

Twinkle, twinkle little star
Who the hell do you think you are?

I have a tale to tell
You probably know it well
Already seen the signs
It's firmly in your mind
Talkin' `bout space

I'm part stormboy
I got the rhythm to rhyme
Four and a half minutes is a long, long time
Mental pathology because of our chronology
It's not our fault, but we just can't bolt
Miles taught us that jazz is freedom
Bands like DIG .. you don't needem

Relax
Sit down
Lie down
Close your eyes, baby
Breath nice and easy for me honey
Breath in, breath out
That's right, that was better
Baby, baby, baby

Twinkle, twinkle little fucking star

Don't go there (see the light)
Oh baby, baby, baby (see the light)
Oh take me!


Eyes of a Thai Girl

Just a minute know
What's that you say?
Something wrong with my friends?
Don't they dress your way?
Like Kulcha perhaps?
Perhaps I don't care

Anyway, I can see it's funny
Look at your fridge man
Still working keeping things cold
Smoking Horizons 50's
That's just the way

I fell in love
With the eyes
The eyes of a Thai girl
She
Said take it slow
You're new in town
Don't be a smartass

Back again to explain our view
Fuck it man, hey
I know it ain't no use
I guess it ain't no use
I know it's not no use
Go home and sleep now

Is this a game we play
You must be so bored with your life
To keep examining the ways
Thank you for showing wrong from right....


I Gave My LIfe Away

Today
I gave my life away
To some kind of institution
I left my wallet at the station

Today
I gave my life away
To some kind of institution
I can't just walk away
From this situation

-Hey Tony.
-Nyeah
-Are you gonna give me a hand?
-Nah!
-Are you gonna hel p me find my wallet Tony?
-No
-Where are you going? Come back here.
-Come back? Come back no, I shan't
-Shan't you may. Are you gonna help me find my wallet?
-Wallets! That's all I ever hear from you.
-Wrong part of town, wrong timing
-Do you think it's Christmas? Well it's not.
-JESUS!!!

I gave my life away
To some kind of institution
I left my wallet
And with it, information

Who is me? ( I gave my life away)
Who is me? ( I gave it away)
Who is me?

At the station
Tony help me!
This isn't recreation
It's information....


Lebanese Tim

You don't care if you got the latest clothes
When you're used to seeing your house explode
As I am....
Mathematics: B
English: Not so good
Fighting for hooters
When you used to fight for food
You're the only one
In Beirut

He's Lebanese Tim
Don't fuck with him DON'T PUSH IT!
Don't push it mate!
Don't push it man
Push it madguy!

Whitey in Wogtown. Honky in Lebtown
Leader of Funkytown. No bullshit!
'I am Lebanese Tim. I am Lebanese Tim
Look.......orange afro'


Nudity Bucket

This is a world that turns at half speed
Where I.Q. is a delicacy
And the streets have no name
What's wrong? I'm only naked.
Nudity is no crime to me
Nudity. C'mon and set yourself free
Nudity. Are you feeling randy?
Nudity

And wouldn't It be great if there was just one day of
the year where you could publicly disrobe
As if the 'indecent' expression never existed
Going to work–NUDE
Playing cricket–NUDE
Taking a shower–NUDE

And anyway, while we have this fever of naturalism
running at an all time high
Rejoicing in our beautiful, natural form
Turn to the person next to you and say
Look at me! Look at me!
I'm nude! I'm nude!

What's wrong? I'm only naked.
Nudity is no crime to me
Nudity. C'mon and set your self free
Nudity. Are you feeling randy?
Nudity.


JIMBOB 32110

Did you ever wake up in the middle of the night
and wish your name was Jimbob?

My name is Tony Wong
I might come after you

Jimbob and Tito Wong

I wanna do the boogaloo
Electric Boogaloo


Ring of Fire

Sitting in a restaurant. It's Indian
I wipe the curry paste from my sweltering face
Its so hot
Across the table whaddoo I see?
There are some people that are digging in deep to something
Oh God! I still think it's alive
'Hey, where are you going?'
'My ass is on fire!!!'

Spray the can with my asshole
The feeling of being empty is so good
That I almost forget the pain that I am in
Deep within my ring
Close the door, just gotta laugh
I step aside and let the drunk stumble past
Pretty soon he'll be yelling
'Get me out of here!'

'Hey, where are you going?'
'My ass is on fire!!!'

Ring of Fire
Flaming out my asshole!
Ring of Fire
Flaming out my asshole!


That's Incredible

Hey there guy, where you from?

New York, New York-
City of sensual delight
Made me call my first son Epstein
Electric toothbrush fighting with my underpants
Soon hell I will endure
Supporting my team: Lebanon
That's Incredible

Bite your ass! Bite it hard!
Bite it good! Bite it now!
Don't bite it tomorrow! Bite it today!
And again tomorrow,
Take a chance on love
Chance on love, chance on love
Fun for all, all for fun

I wake up this morning
It's a brand new day
I open my eyes and I say to the world
FUCK YOU
Shooby dooby dooby doo

Shooby doo P' tang-gadaboo!!