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This Is Andini

Tipping the balance of my sensitive environment
I`ll be on my way today, on my way today

Hey there, new settler
You can do what you like
For this is Andini
The seafood extender
That`s been blowing your mind
Right here in Andini

So stop playing games with my husband...

No-one`s a stranger
But you should keep to yourself
When you`re here in Andini

So stop playing games with my husband...

Andini: a small fishing village
on the outskirts of my mind.
Tried to open up a stripclub,
but I shut me down....


Energy Busters

He was sucked in by the energy
To a sharehouse situation,
Vibes were at an all-time low.
So pack up the firesticks
And throw them in the Kombi,
Drive past Port Macquarie
Don`t stop, keep driving on...

And she sucked him in with her energy
To a dangerous situation,
Her name was Sky and she was high
On macrobiotic wonderment.
It`s no good for his constitution
But for him there`s no surprising,
Because he was a Leo
And she was a Gemini rising...

You go up north, and you`re hanging out
You score a pound, and come back down

Twirling fire-sticks through the night
Excuse me your dreadlocks are alight
Bongo-beatin` Pseudo-freakin` down the street
And look at me


Humans Are Losers

What are you doing here?
What are you doing now?
Because we`re all going to die next week
But we just don`t know how.
Maybe from malaria
Or a new strain of the flu
So you get all of the vaccines
And an asteroid falls on you, what do you do?

Where are we gonna go?
And who are we gonna be?
In fifteen thousand years time
When there`s no more you and me?
History`s just a blink of an eye
That takes a thousand years to shut,
And in that time the humans
Really shoved Earth up their butt.

Humans are losers

We are just apes
Apes with opposable thumbs
Boobs and fast cars
Third chimps from the sun

Humans are losers

We are cowboys of the universe

What if somebody knew about:
* The skidmark frequency of your undies?
* How bad your breath can be?
* Your wildest fantasies
(To go on Gladiators and pull down your pants)?

Humans are losers


I Wanted to be a Doctor

So now I`m working in a factory
They got me sweeping the floor
I`ll get a forklift ticket
Won`t sweep up no more

I wanted to drive a forklift
They said "That`s Stan`s job"

Now I`m working on a golf course
They got me mowing the greens
If I finish early-
I play the back nine!

Wanted to be a doctor
They said that I was too tall
Wanted to drive a forklift
They said "That`s Stan`s job"

I`m stuck here forever
Doing the nine to five
Is this all that I`m made for-
Working to stay alive?

So now I`m working in a milk bar
I`m making hamburgers, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Do you want tomatoes?

Wanted to be a doctor
They said that I was too tall
Wanted to be a lesbian
They said that I was too tall

I`m stuck here forever
Doing the nine to five
Is this all that I`m made for?


Mother`s Favourite Son

Jenny doesn`t live here anymore
Jenny doesn`t live here anymore
Jenny was the girl who used to live nextdoor
Jenny doesn`t live here anymore

Jason doesn`t live here anymore
Jason doesn`t live here anymore
Jason was the guy who used to go out with Jenny
Who was the girl who used to live nextdoor

Michael doesn`t come over anymore
Michael doesn`t come over anymore
Mike was friends with Jase who used to go out with Jenny
Who was the girl who used to live nextdoor

Times are a-changin`
People are moving on with their lives
But I`m just doing the same old things
Just trying to light my farts

Tito doesn`t live here anymore
Tito used to come over to score
Tito was my sister`s husband`s uncle`s
postman`s brother`s sponsor in the walkathon,
His mother`s favourite son.
His mother`s favourite son.


Wednesday`s Girl

Just last Monday
I met a girl...
etc.


`Que Voy Hacer?

Mi compadre Manolo
Se fue con mi esposa
Tengo una pena imensa
`Que voy hacer ahora sin el?
`Que voy hacer?
`Que puta es esto?
Ojala que note hagas sufrir

Manolo,
Why did you have to go?
Manolo?


Decidedly Evil

And then there was no hell
For hell was now upon this Earth
And Earth was now upon thy death

No man spoke, no man wandered
No man breathed through the dawn
No man breathed through the dawn of this new age

But then Lucifer laughed
And Jesus he cried
(Prophet of doom)
St Peter spoke of Demons
(Turn up the heat)
Angel Gabriel sang
(Highway to Hell)
And so it is written
And so it shall be done

It is for the evil
And the damned
That this land of cursed demons belongs


The Wayne Song

My name is Wayne
I`m a really nice guy
I work at Westpac
And I wear a tie

On the weekend
I go to Jacksons On George
I`ll have a bourbon and Coke
Another bourbon and Coke

Never been to Seaworld
Never been to Dreamworld at
Surfer`s Paradise
But you know, if you`re nice to me
I`m going to take you to
El Caballo Blanco

Never been into sailboards
Or ice skates
But for you I would do anything.
Oh Chantelle, would you marry me?
Take my hand
We`ll have the wedding
At Australia`s Wonderland

Wayne did marry Chantelle
although she changed her name to Simon.
She`d been spending all her time at the gym,
and made a whole new group of friends.
Physically and mentally she had changed so much,
Wayne was confused.....
This was no Seaworld!
This was no Dreamworld!
This was no Paradise!

You`re hurting me Simon.
Stop it, you`re hurting me.



DREAMING IS OVER

We`re living, we live and learn
Do you know its true?
We`ve been living in a dream
But dreams can`t change the way I feel about you, the way I act around you
Dreaming is over
I`m going crazy, I`m feeling randy
I feel like disco. Disco dancing.
Dancing. Romancing. Crazy disco dancing.



NEW SHOES

So then I got a job
With the Me-So-Horny Dancers©
It didn`t quite work out:
They said I stole some money

Then I hit the road
Started acting crazy
But the people told me to "Stop!
We`re trying to watch the movie!"

He never gets the blues, he never had a clue
And I haven`t touched a monkey since 1982!

I met a girl from Dapto
She was `cherry-o-intacto`
I knew it was a facto
Now she`s my defacto

Just tryin` to stay alive
Tryin` to survive
Time to get some new shoes yeah

I`ve been around the world
I`ve sailed the seven seas
And way out on the ocean
I really got to know my body

When I came ashore
I started acting crazy
But the people told me to "Stop!
Go and get some booty!"

He never gets the blues, he never had a clue
And I haven`t touched a monkey since 1982!

One time in Morocco
I flew down to Bangkoko
But the stock market calypso
Now I`m back in Dapto

Just tryin` to stay alive
Tryin` to survive
Time to get some new shoes yeah

You`ve got to know your body, muthafuckaz
Gonna turn you on.
Cherry-o-intacto.

Just tryin` to stay alive
Tryin` to survive
Time to get some new shoes yeah



TAKING A CHANCE

Taking a chance out in the city in the night time
Hold on tight everything will be alright
You`ve gotta be worked up in the city in the night time
Hold on tight everything will be alright

Going out on the weekend
You should have stayed home tonight
Feeling like you don`t belong
And you know, you`re probably right

Taking a chance
Hold on tight everything will be alright

Going out on the weekend
You should have stayed home tonight
Got the wrong sort of shoes on
And you know they`ll never be right



DOIN` ALRIGHT

You make lots of money
And you`re driving a fancy car
Haven`t seen your wife, haven`t seen your kids
Haven`t seen your friends, haven`t seen your mum
You`re way too busy for them

You got no money but I`m saying that you`re doin` alright
You got no money but you`re dancin all through the night

All you need is some good friends
Something to eat just to stay alive
It don`t cost much to go to the beach
With a beautiful girl and a soccer ball
And make love in the rain

Organise a party for you
And all of your friends
You don`t need much but a stereo
And some jungle juice, your favourite soccer ball
Celebrate being alive!

You got no money but I`m saying that you`re doin` alright
You got no money but you`re dancin all through the night


FIX MY MO`

I do my homework.
I try my heart out.
But nobody cares what I do.
I try to please you, I try to please everybody,
But nobody knows what I go through.

Late at night I lie in my bed
And think about what could have been
With you and me…. what could have been….

"It`s okay my friend", she said
"I`ll fuck my way to the top, And then I`ll fix my mo` "

Late at night I walk the streets
And I think about what could`ve been
With you and me…. what could have been….
If I`d have made the soccer team….

Well I tried and tried to make the football team
But playing left back will always be a dream
Now you`re out and about I`m home listening to the streets
Make a cup of tea, watch the local derby

"I`ll fuck my way to the top" she said
"I`ll fuck my way to the top and then I`ll fix my mo` " (repeat)

"It`s okay my friend", she said
"I`ll fuck my way to the top, And then I`m gonna come on back to you
"I`ll fuck my way to the top, And then I`m gonna come on back to you,
"I`m gonna fix my mo` " (repeat)

If I`d made the soccer team,
Would you wanna fuck me baby?


SONG FOR GREG

You`re not as much fun anymore
But maybe I`ve grown
Now you`re out on the street
All broken and torn

But I`ll still care for you
`Cause we`ve shared some good times
You were always there for me
Though you didn`t say much

Only you cared about the way I feel
Only you cared for me at all

I`ve tried to explain it
But it made no sense at all
You`re just sitting in the corner
Staring at the wall

Defeated by the purpose
I`ve seen a pattern form
You gave me no surprises
I`ve seen your kind before

Only you cared about the way I feel
Only you cared for me at all


I CAN SEE

The first time that I met you
It was a big surprise
Your boobs knocked over my milkshake
And then five minutes later you arrived

I asked you to the school dance
And when you said yes (Oh no, you said yes)
I was over the moon
You know, I didn`t think I stood a chance

I can see, finally I can see
Where you get your boobs from
Your Mum`s stacked
She came to me in a dream
She carried on

I can see, finally I can see
Where you get your boobs from
Your Mum is stacked
And I don`t know what to do….


FASHANU

What are you gonna do, Johnny Fashanu?
Who do you think you are, Bruce Grobelaar?
Who wears the pants at home, is it Mum or Dad?
Who`s gonna drive you home, Dodi Al Fayed?

Who scores the goals you like, and who does the things you wanna do?
Who do you wanna be? I wanna be Peter Beardsley!
Who`s got the right stuff, stuff to fashion you?
Where did you get that haircut? It`s pretty Fashanu

Johnny Fashanu (REPEAT)

Who`s gonna win the game, and what do you think will be the score?
Who do you think will know? Fashanu knows all
Bruce has the know-how, and the moves to fashion you
We can all be friends, thanks to Fashanu

Johnny Fashanu (REPEAT) .