Born : Maybe Campsie, possibly in the 7-Eleven car park. 1972.

Ernie was won in a raffle by the people he now calls Mummy & Daddy.
At the time they tried to exchange him for a toaster, but then realised
they already had one. Despite being given every opportunity for a
good start in life, nothing came easy to him- "I couldn`t even spell
my name until last year".
Poor marks at school forced him to spend his time watching midday TV,
until the advent of the VCR completely changed his life, allowing him to
watch all the Emmanuelle movies in slow motion and in rewind.

Education : Our Lady of Steve Mortimer, Lakemba NSW (1978-80)

Previous Employment : Freelance Postman, Stop/Go man.

Hobbies : Blowing up his own letterbox, swearing, tantric masturbation.

Favourite Books :
Jason Donovan`s Autobiography "Everything I Touch Turns to Shit"
and "Rambo V - the Last Fuckaround, I Promise"

Favourite Movie : Rambo VI - "Rambo Takes His Kids to Disneyland"

Fears : Locking himself in his car, people from Brisbane.

Favourite Quotes :
"Don't get me wrong.....some of my best friends are Mars Bars"
- Winston Churchill, 1985.
"Behind every great man is at least one burnt-out Datsun 120Y"
- Nelson Mandela during his Presidential acceptance speech, 1994.